corinnestark
If Claire becomes Scottish, she can’t be forced from clan lands. How can Claire become Scottish you ask? If she marries! Claire is like, Oh, I’m not marrying you, and Dougal chuckles, says something crass about grinding her corn, which is a great euphemism for bad sex if nothing else. Then we realize he means for Claire to marry Jamie. I am pretty sure I heard a chorus of angels at this point. Jamie comes upon Claire and offers her some drink and they talk over their potential nuptials. She asks, “Doesn’t it bother you that I’m not a virgin?” “No,” Jamie says, “So long as it doesn’t bother you that I am.” The angels began singing even louder. You’re telling me Claire will have a blank slate and that amazing body to work with? There is a god and her name is Beyoncé.
After mulling over her options a bit longer, Claire takes a big swig of drink, and makes her way back to the menfolk, grabbing the bottle because for some inexplicable reason, she’s going to need a lot more liquor to wrap her mind around being married to the hottest man in Scotland. I don’t need such convincing. I am ready for the wedding and the wedding night and the honeymoon and the christening of a new home and the fight sex and make up sex and Tuesday night sex and all the other flavors of sex Claire and Jamie are finally going to have if Beyoncé wills it, Amen.
Roxane Gay - Vulture (x)